It is day 6 of the Conscious Cleanse… purification day 1 of 2. For purification you are allowed water, vegetables and some fruit for the 2 days. I just prepared myself a Lemon Elixir and while I am sipping it, I have been thinking about how far my relationship to food and my body has come.
In my early twenties I was obsessed with my weight and food. I actually knew the calorie count to every single food. After college, I joined the Peace Corps service and gained about 10 pounds and became even more obsessed with my weight. I actually have my journal from that time in my life, where I was actually constricting the amount of calories I was having in a Country where people were barely able to get by. Suddenly I felt ashamed for being so concerned with my body and weight. Here I was in Nepal, around families that were starving and I was concerned about gaining 10 pounds. It was a vicious cycle of self-loathing, because I became harder and harder on myself.
About 12 months into my Peace Corps service I had a complete mental and emotional breakdown. The Peace Corps office was ready to send me home on what they call a psychological evacuation “Psych Vac.”
Do you know what got me to wake up and start healing? My parents and family came to visit me in Nepal during that very tough time. I tried my hardest to put on a happy face for their visit. My parents saw right through it, specifically my father. He amazingly, felt the pain that I was in at a deep level. One day he broke down sobbing, because he couldn’t handle the pain that I was in. That was a major turning point in my life. Suddenly I realized my self-loathing behavior was making not only me miserable but also those that I love.
That was a huge insight for me, and that was the beginning of my journey toward self-love and acceptance of my body. I stopped reading all women’s magazines, even those that focused on health and fitness… I began to change my relationship with food. Today, I can’t even tell you the calorie count of any food, I rarely jump on the scale and I allow myself to eat whatever I am craving if I am hungry.
s focused wellness center. With no experience and no money I had no idea where to start. The universe has a weird way of working its magic. When I came back to Boulder, I was introduced to the Wild Oats Wellness Center. I immediately loved the concept and got a job answering the phones. Over 3 years, I worked my way up to Assistant Director and then had the opportunity to buy the business from Wild Oats over 13 years ago (2001) which I still own today, The Wellness Center, Inside Whole Foods off S. Colorado Blvd.
Through the years, I have done many cleanses, given up certain foods and each time it gets a little easier, mentally and physically. It is true your taste buds do change and you start to crave different foods. Each day is a new journey, and the key is to be gentle with yourself and honor where you are at.
I love the 80/20 rule. That is a rule that I try to live by. If you only cleanse for 14 days out of the total 365 days per year… that is only 4% of the year that you are completely devoted to cleaning and flushing our your body. This helps me put things in perspective when I think the day is too long, or I can’t handle purification. I remind myself that the other 96% of the days of the year I can eat whatever I want.
Keep up the good work fellow cleansers!
