This is an ongoing battle with me, the curse of comparing myself to others and then in turn putting more pressure on myself to “be” a certain way. Why do we spend so much time judging others?
I truly believe we judge others because of our own inner fear and insecurities. For example, for many years I was very concerned about my body and weight, so I would constantly judge others for being too fat or too thin. Now that I am a mom, I find myself judging other mothers and then comparing them to myself. I always catch myself when I am doing it and try to turn it back on myself, to look at my own insecurities that I have being a mom. It is a challenge, but an important one to overcome. Truly living in judgment over others is like an inner prison, you are never free to be yourself around others, because you are constantly comparing yourself to them.
How do you get over being judgmental? Well for one, I believe that completely eradicating judgment is very difficult in our modern day world. I do think that with greater awareness you are able to keep judgment at bay and in turn start loving yourself more. Isn’t that the ultimate goal? To feel comfortable in your own skin?
The next time you have a judgmental thought that comes to your mind, acknowledge and reflect on where that judgment is coming from and own it as yours. Recognize that the judgmental thought ultimately comes from your own inner insecurity. Then work on accepting your insecurity/weakness and give yourself grace that you are not perfect but you are doing your best. This is the greatest gift you can give yourself, accept your self-judgments and give yourself permission to make mistakes.
I am reading the book Cinderella ate my Daughter by Peggy Grenstein and she wrote, “if I could imbue my daughter with a superpower, it would be the ability to withstand the pressures of the culture around her, to be her own woman despite the potential costs: I would give her the courage of her conviction, the power to be the hero of her own story without ambivalence or fear, to embrace her gifts regardless of her body’s size or shape.”
To your health and happiness,
